Poker

I stood my ground. I said "No." And it felt good.

Test me. Try me. You'll lose.

I feel like Chaos's Advocate. My only bargainning chip is causing confusion and uncertainty.

Everything will change. They dont see it yet. Neither of them.

And all they're really scared of is having to figure it out. Not being without me. And I'm fine with that. They've got all the fuckin' chips. But I've got my one card. It's not even an ace of spades. More like a jack of diamonds. But they won't know till I show them.

"That's your only card. Why would you give it up willingly?"

B is back in town. I missed her. I hope she comes to NYC to visit. After all this time. And friends that have waxed and waned. She has been fairly constant.

Let me paint you a picture. B is simple. She is motherly in nature, pretty, girlish, occasionally thick-headed, opinionated, self-concious and honest. And I've spent a lot of time knowing her on many different levels. And we relate.

"It's 4 a.m. We will stalk again, the princess and her better queen."

Sometimes. You need to see someone who reminds you of who you really are and where you came from. And B does that for me.

I'm gonna start writing notes other than just this blog. I'm ready again. Thanks K.

-N