Friday, October 17, 2008

Moments

What I did tonight :

I met a friend who gave me a book.

I watched a gigantic crowd of people dancing to their own beat.

I handed money to a young man trying to get home.
He said I was the only one who stopped.

I watched a group of strangers helping two lost, young boys.

I sat at Mudd and read in the "Mudd Journal" I made,
and saw a familiar stranger.

I dropped off coffees to my unexpecting friends at work.

I talked to strangers on the subway about secrets.

I got off the train. Out of the L. And listened to the closest deli's radio.
"There is always something there to remind me."

The entire night was one poignant moment after another. Life's testament to surprise connections. And I loved it.

I want that always.

- N

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Super World

I'm back where I was.

Where I am.

Who I am?

Maybe not that one just yet.

Tonight's just so... so... regular?

... As I sip my $65 bottle of sherry and write on a blog aimed at lonely strangers in NYC.

I'm just so jaded. In some ways, anyway.

"For the sake of making a statement, let's make our presence known.
We'll show up in our outfits we planned ahead,
meeting the qualifications for a special occasion.
Today is our day."

What gets me through the day? Is it the hope of love? Or a made bed at "home"? Or my expensive bottles of wine I can't afford?

I like to think you help. The ones reading this.

: / I hope you're out there.

I miss things I once had. Things I let slip away. I used to have all of my favorite people at arm's reach. I need to start getting them back.

"Super Boy. And Super Girl. Well I've got a question for your Super World. What gets you through? What gets you past? And how do you, fly so fast?

Is it the fame? 'Cuz everybody knows, who you are.

But it cant be the same. 'Cuz I Hear your from outer space. Pretty Far.

And Super Boy's got his problems, and Girl's got her hangups.

And I know that it can't be easy to be,

Super boy. In a thankless world, these days."

- N

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Give Up?

It's what happens when inevitablility meets cause and effect.

Those that you've hurt, ultimately hurt you.

So when do I begin?

How do I realize what I will reap before I sow?

For You #1:

I'm sorry. I've neglected you for dead at times. I've been a bad friend. I've taken advantage of you, intentionally or not. But I love you. And nothing could ever change that. No matter how long you might try and hate me.

For You #2:

I hope you got what you wanted. Ultimately what this blog is for.
You're not alone. You've never been alone. And now you have it on paper.


I just want to sleep. I want to smile again whole heartedly. And I'm starting to find people to do that with again.

It's a nice feeling.

Belonging.

"We never grew out of this feeling that we won't give up."

It's a cold night. Bundle up.

-N

Monday, October 6, 2008

Mudd Coffee

Sometimes I stop in at Mudd and sit for awhile.

Today I bought another notebook and a pen. And I sat down and wrote in it. I wrote about what was on my mind. Like always. But then I left them behind.

I wrote on the front, "Write In Me." and on the inside, "Tell Me Your Secrets."

That's my dream.

That atleast twice-a-day, a stranger in Union Sq. or somewhere else, gives a note to another just like I do. Packed with their pain, their love, their heart. That everyone else chisels away at this goddamn ice block that society has frozen around our soul. Or that we let down the drawnbridge that a bad childhood rolled up.

That we can all be vulnerable. To feel again.

That NYC won't be a cold place.

It's what I think about all the time.

: / "What do you see, when you look at me? Do you take me for a fool?"

I guess when it comes down to it. I put my faith in strangers. When I told someone that recently, they said, "Unreliable." and she's totally right.

But nothing in life is reliable. So I'm gonna get hurt, right?

"Does it comfort you to know you fought the good fight?"

Maybe it does.

-N

p.s. I'll check back in a week or so at Mudd to see if anyone wrote in it. If you're reading this and you did, draw me a little smiley in a corner so I know. <3

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Buzzed

It's been about a week since I handed out my last note.



My lifes been crazy buzy.



justbuzzbuzzbuzzfuss.


I'm ready to relax for two days.


I plan on writing atleast two tomorrow and handing them out.



If you got a note on the train seat next to you recently. You're the first person that I've given one to that I never saw.


Jeez. I feel like I'm inches away from everything that I've shoved to the back of my mind. Listening to emo. Alone in my room. Coming off the buzz of a good night.


Well. Now she knows I write notes to strangers. But I'm going to try my hardest to not show her this page. Or lonelyny.com . It will be up soon. Hopefully.


This is a lame ass post. This is a lame ass night. I feel like crap now. It's just been so long since I tossed out some feelings.

You can expect a better one soon.

- N